如何赢得朋友以及影响别人?
Posted by 蒋海明 on 14 Oct 2007 at 05:32 pm | Tagged as: 其它
前几天浏览一个交友网站, 看到Dale Carnegie在1936年写的一本书《How to Win Friends and Influence People》的目录,看了很有启发,写下来跟大家分享。
与人交往的基本技巧:
1. 不要批评,谴责或抱怨;
2. 表达真诚的感激;
3. 激发他人的急切的欲望。
6个让他人喜欢你的方法:
1. 真诚的表示对他人感兴趣;
2. 微笑;
3. 记住一个人的名字对他来说是世界上最优美的声音
4. 作一个好的听众,鼓励对方讲他自己;
5. 讨论对方感兴趣的话题。
6. 让对方感到重要
赢得对方的认同:
1. 在争论中得到最好的结果的方法是避免争论;
2. 尊重别人的意见,永远不要说“你错了”;
3. 如果你自己错了,马上就承认错误;
4. 以一种友善的方法开始;
5. 让对方一开始就说“yes,yes”;
6. 让对方在谈话中获得收获;
7. 让对方觉得这是他的注意;
8. 真诚的从对方的角度看事情;
9. 对他人的观点和愿望表示赞同和共鸣;
10. 对高尚的动机表示兴趣(Appeal to the nobler motives)
11. 把你的主意戏剧化
12. 战胜挑战;
作为领导,如何改变他人的思想而不激怒对方
团队领导经常要做得工作是改变他人的态度和行为,提供如下建议:
1. 以真诚的赞扬和感激开始;
2. 以间接的方法唤起他人对错误的认识;
3. 先讨论自己的错误,再批评他人;
4. 提问而不是直接给出命令;
5. 给对方留个面子;
6. 表扬小小的改进,并且对每个进步都给于表扬,衷心而且不廉舍赞美;
7. 让他人生活在一个好的声誉之中;
8. 鼓励别人,让错误好像很容易改正;
9. 让他人做你建议的事情而感到高兴。
将自己平时的所作所为与这本书讲的原则,我觉得自己在很多地方需要继续改进,所以写下来跟大家共鸣。
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I attended Dale carnegie Training and it is one of the best trainings I have ever attended. Dale wrote three books, and they can change your life very positively.
I attended it too about almost 4 years ago. It was really good. “Step out your comfort zone” still hits me quite often.
Hi Jeff and Kent,
Where did you attend this kind of training? Is there any video training course available? I think I need some traing on this subject.
Haiming,
sorry for replying you late. The training is everywhere around the world. Google it and check their web site. In NZ they should have one. I doubt they have online video because during training they will not even disclose their power point presentations.
Correct me Kent if i am wrong.
Good luck
Jeff
Thank you Jeff, I had talked a friend in Canada, she is even a certified Carnegie trainer. So my question has been fully answered now.
Good to know!
Jeff is right. The training is very interactive. They do the talk most of the time but ask you to do the presentation very often too. Very interesting and different course. Very useful too. Haiming, if there is on in NZ I would strongly recommend you attending one.
Cheers, Kent